I am a recovering New Age Manifestor.
I am slowly letting go of the belief that just sitting and vibrating at a certain level will create the world I desire.
Maybe it would, at some point, but what fun would that be? How could I enjoy the outcome without getting active, in this physical body, having the experience of wooing, creating, and wrestling with the world I want to live in?
I often wonder if the common language of "being" as more important than "doing" and affirming our way to peace and joy despite obvious signs of suffering and inequality are actually another form of control and paralysis to keep us from rising up and claiming a world that makes sense.
We must not underestimate the tremendous powers that are invested in the continuation of suffering, oppression and inequality. And, we must not allow them to paralyze us with fear, or turn us into rabid idealogues.
There is fear flowing freely these days. It's on tap everywhere with free refills. We are drowning in it, and taking each other down with us as we sink.
We can't wait to act until we feel perfectly peaceful. We can't wait to act until we are sure we are coming from a place of love. We can't wait to act until we are sure that we are right.
Being love sounds wonderful, and we need to be love in action.
Being peace sounds divine, and we need to act to create justice for true peace to be possible.
We can't wait until we are sure that we can do it perfectly.
We are called to show up in action in a way that is life giving. Let it be messy. Let it be creative. Get things wrong. Try again. Say too much. Let your voice quiver. Show your anger. Just, please, show up with me.
Show up to care for the community that we belong to. The people, the plants, the insects. Take your place and take responsibility for the health of the spirit of the place where we live and work. Take responsibility for the physical health of this place. Is the water clean? The air? Is there good food available? If not, what can we do about it?
Show up and care for our municipalities. Have you gone to public meetings? How does the municipal authority decide what gets built and by whom? How do they manage storm water? Who do they contract with for waste removal? How do they process the waste materials? Remember, there is no such place as away.
Our focus on personal enlightenment has left us spending so much time looking inward, that we have forgotten how to belong. The dream of wealth and success has done the same thing for people who are chasing the top of the ladder. Part of belonging is taking responsibility for the people and the place and the creatures who we live with and depend on, and who depend on us.
As the fear flows freely and abundantly, as we practice with devotion to stay connected to our inner place of calm and peace, we can't stop with our own peace as we sit on our cushions. Let's commit ourselves with fierce courage to act in the world.
Part of this healing journey for me is about feeling the pain without letting it paralyze me. It's about feeling like I have no idea what I'm doing, but trusting my heart. It's about realizing I don't have to know everything in order to work toward something good, and I can learn so much from other people as we work alongside each other.
This blog has been really difficult for me to write. I struggle with calls to action. I hear this voice that says "who are you to tell anyone what to do?" "Are you even showing up?" "Are you doing enough?" "Have you taken responsibility?"
These are the voices that keep us inactive. We can struggle with these voices forever without moving into the space of doing our work in the world. The closer I have gotten to my sense of purpose, the louder these voices have become. The louder the self-doubt. The louder the fear of doing it wrong. I am walking in sacred territory, doing things that are deeply meaningful to me, and the stakes are high. The part of me that would keep me paralyzed knows that I am in new territory and it is hugely invested in keeping me small and miserable.
So, here I am. Saying the hard things. Doing it anyway. Being in action even though I'm terrified. Doing my best to help even though my head is full of voices telling me that I am an imposter and I have no idea what I'm doing. Will you please show up with me? We don't have to do this alone, in fact, I don't think we can.