I am sitting down to write my blog this evening after a long day full of things that I love. I taught two yoga classes, spent time with a dear friend and with my children, swept the sidewalk, made a quick dinner and persistently longed for the safety and bliss of immersing myself in the Divine Beloved.
Ever since I was a child, I have held the golden thread of another place. My connection to this ancient memory of belonging to the world has been the backdrop of every event and every detail of my life.
Some part of me believes that the trees are as awake and aware as we are. The birds have a language that we could learn. The rocks are the memory keepers for the Great Earth. The rivers are alive and so are the breezes. Everything that exists here remembers its holiness and leans toward us, whispering and coaxing us to remember our place. To remember our sacred connection to all that is. I was born remembering that truth. Whatever mechanism is in place to cause human forgetting, failed with me.
I learned, slowly, to let go of this memory and the intense experiences of living in a world that is completely alive and aware. In place of this ancient reality, I crafted a face and a way of being in the world that would help me to get love and recognition. I gave up huge parts of myself in exchange for belonging to a world full of people with amnesia. I chose to join them, and I started to forget.
Something in me has shifted, and I am remembering again what I have exchanged for love and belonging. I am remembering what I have forgotten. The golden thread that I have held and protected all of this time is weaving me back into Life. The forgetting that I have chosen, the amnesia, it is wearing off. I am becoming aware of the story I have told to contain my truest self and protect my place in the world.
I had falsely believed that my power is dangerous. The truth is that the power inside of me doesn't even belong to me. It belongs to the One who made me. The same One who made you, and the trees and the rivers and birds and oceans and vast skies filled with stars and planets. That Divine Beloved, that Infinite Intelligence is awake and alive on this planet, in this body, and in every corner of the universe. Living in relationship to this intelligence, seeing the shimmering light of Life within all things, this is the greatest joy a human can behold. This reality belongs to all of us.