Belonging Here

The world is so big.

We don't have to understand how we belong to all of it, even if we long to dwell in that deep Oneness.

If we can just belong to this breath, this birdsong, this good heart beating us alive day and night, this is enough.

In fact, this is the door to the bigger, deeper wholeness.

We can't get to the big Oneness without the messy human we find in the mirror, in the reflection on the surface of our coffee, laid bare in our outbursts and sabotage and missteps.

Belonging here, where we are small and afraid, where we know all of the ways we've screwed it all up, and still believing in our own goodness, this is the biggest step we can take.

And not just believing we are still good, but believing that we deserve goodness. That we deserve kindness. That people should still respect us, treat us with dignity, even in our brokenness, this is the door.

Because when we know this about ourselves, that we are inherently worthy of goodness even in our darkest hour, then we know the same is true for everyone else.

And suddenly, the bigger Oneness, that has been here all along hidden behind our shame and self-recrimination, can dawn like the sunrise and wrap us in the warmth we have been seeking and simultaneously hiding from.

And it's all here, right now, in this breath, this birdsong, this loyal beating heart, endlessly devoted to our worthiness. Never stopping to judge whether we have been good enough to deserve the next inhale, the next pump of blood, the next catbird chorus.

May we come home.